Starting our Journey

I guess the best place to start a journey is at the beginning.

I remember first being introduced to the idea of adoption when I was about 10. I had a best friend named Chrissy and her family had 6 kids in it--3 adopted and 3 biological. Her mom's explanation went something like this, "some of our kids didn't come from my tummy, but they are all our kids and we are a family." I think it was then that adoption grabbed hold of my heart. As I grew up adoption became part of my life's dream.

When Justin and I met (almost 10 years ago!) we discussed adoption, right from the start. Before we became a couple--you know, when you are talking about your hopes and dreams--I shared my passion for children without families.

Within a month or so of taking a job and moving to North Carolina, I was introduced to Anna. Anna was also originally from Michigan and moved down south to accept a teaching position at the same time I did. Anna ended up becoming one of my best friends and as we developed our friendship I learned that Anna (and her brother) were both adopted. She was good enough to entertain a lot of my questions and I appreciated hearing her point of view as an adopted child.

It was through Anna that I met Melissa. Melissa and I met on the day we began planning for Anna's engagement party and we became immediate friends! As it were, she and her husband Brian, had just started their own adoption journey. Of course we spent countless hours talking about EVERYTHING adoption!

When Justin and I had been married a year we began planning to grow our family. For us, adoption was what we wanted to pursue first. We prayed hard and felt like it was God's plan for our family. We chose Ethiopia and became super excited. We told our families and friends and everyone shared in our joy. And then we got the bad news in December last year. We were rejected. Ethiopia would not accept us as potential parents because I have a pacemaker. Knowing the news would be tough to hear, the agency checked with the other 6 countries they worked with to see if any of them would accept us. Unbelievably all said no. To put it mildly, we were devastated. We couldn't believe it.

Eventually our disappointment gave way to the truth--God has a specific child (and plan) for us--we began to trust that His plan would be made clear to us. We just had to listen. It has been really hard at times understanding and accepting that God does have a plan for us and it doesn't always align with our plans. Sometimes it is hard to waiting on God to reveal His plan.

By February we decided to no longer prevent pregnancy. We know that biological children can also be a part of God's will--although I have to admit that was a little tough for me to accept; There are just so many children already here that are in need of families. Our thinking was that we would just go ahead and wait for God. Still having the desire to reach out to children in need, we started taking foster/adoption classes through our county. This is a 12 week commitment-every Thursday evening from 6-9. We have really enjoyed the classes so far and just finished our 8th class this week. We are learning so much from these classes! Topics have included child development, the importance of attachment, effects of abuse and neglect, discipline and the culture of foster or adopted children.

So, until about a month ago we thought our plan was pretty set. Justin and I would continue taking the classes downtown and if we got pregnant too that would be great. We have prayed EVERY DAY for God to let us know what we are to do. "God, you know our hearts. You know that we want so much to be parents. We are willing to be obedient, please make your will clear to us."

Remember that friend Melissa I mentioned earlier? She and I were on the phone talking about her recent feelings for India. Melissa is PASSIONATE about adoption so I wasn't surprised that she had begun praying about adopting an older child from India. A few days later we talked again and she said she had contacted an agency about waiting children in India and had received an email with some photos and short biographies. While on the phone she forwarded me the email. As I looked as the children (all BEAUTIFUL) one little girl's picture and bio jumped off the page at me. As I read her bio I felt such a strong connection with this little angel, Henna. This 9 month old little girl was listed as a waiting child because she was born with a heart defect, and as many of you know, I was also born with a heart defect. After a couple of days I was still unable to get her off my mind. Melissa convinced me to email the agency--I was hesitant, the rejection from Ethiopia was still fresh on my brain. But, I did it, even before discussing it with Justin. I totally expected a "we're really sorry" response, but that didn't happen. I spoke with a woman from the agency who said that they had been praying for Christian couples (although the agency is not a Christian agency) to come forward and adopt these waiting children. They thought they could get us approved, even though we didn't meet several of India's requirements--we are under 30, haven't been married 5 years, and I have a significant health issue. I was shocked! I couldn't wait for Justin to get home that day. I told him everything: how Melissa had had India on her heart, she and Brian had been praying about it, she sent the email, I contacted the agency and that they thought they could get us approved. The lady also said that if we felt like this little girl was meant for our family to contact the director and share that with her. We had a lot to think about!

So we were back to square one, we were again considering international adoption-something we thought was no longer an option for us. We prayed that evening and into the next day-something like, "God, we are going ahead with this. If it isn't your will we know you will shut the door." As we were considering what to do we both remember the prayer we had been praying--for God to let us know what He wanted for us. We applied to the agency. They needed some additional paperwork. They said they wanted to be sure India would approve the adoption before they approved us. We found out yesterday we were approved! Sort of hard to believe. Until now, we haven't told many people. We just didn't want our families to be disappointed if it didn't work out again. We have been praying specifically for the child that started this whole thing. Our hope is that she is meant for our family, but we don't know that. If another family comes forward who is further along in the process (they already have immigration approval) she could be matched with their family. As much as we feel like she is ours-we want her to be with a family where her needs (medical and otherwise) will be met. We are confident that God has led us where we are for a reason. As Justin says, "we are just along for the ride". He's right--so thankful to have a Christian husband!

The next step for us is to apply to our local homestudy agency. We have already selected a Hague accredited (more on that later) agency. Ironically, when we went to the information meeting the trainer for Bellefaire (local homestudy agency) is also our trainer through the county for our classes downtown. Our placing agency, Journeys of the Heart, is sending us our contract and fee schedule (yikes!). Justin asked yesterday if I knew how much this was going to cost--we both just laughed b/c we hadn't even considered it. We agreed that if this was God's will, He would help provide funds to make it happen. We will have lots of opportunity to practice our faith in the upcoming future.

Please join us in praying for Henna, for our family and adoption process, and for children all over the world who have yet to come home to their families.