Journey to Jatin: August 2010

3weeks 5days

9weeks 3days

12 weeks exactly :)

As you can see--my belly is definitely growing! We had our third ultrasound on Friday. Our baby was jumping around in my uterus as we watched on...it was amazing! The doctor said we have a little hopper on our hands. I've been affectionately calling baby "Frogger" ever since. Frogger was moving his/her arms everywhere--like he/she was waving at Mommy and Daddy! Frogger was also measuring a few days bigger than expected--when I peeked at our paperwork the doctor wrote that our estimated due date was 2/28--it's really 3/3 and she said our date wouldn't officially change because it's not a big enough difference. We are sooooo in love already! This pregnancy is flying by! Only 28 weeks left!

Well, we do have some news to share. Some really amazing news--on June 22nd we found out that we are pregnant! I went in for my routine appointment and was told we were expecting. I suspected nothing-so, you can imagine my surprise! I must have asked the nurse 8 times "how confident she was". I just couldn't believe it. I asked if I should go home and take an at home test and was told that I shouldn't waste my money :)

God works in mysterious ways, doesn't he? Justin and I had committed to the adoption process and had been imagining Henna as our daughter. The day before my appointment we discussed not trying to concieve a baby because we didn't want anything to interfere with our adoption of Henna. And then the next day--BAM! I wish I could tell you that when we found out we were nothing but thrilled. The truth is, however, that our first thoughts went to Henna. We wondered how this would impact her, we felt a little irresponsible and I personally felt like I had really let her down. I guess it's possible to be elated and worried, because that's how we felt. We wanted to just embrace the pregnancy, but it wasn't that simple. We felt like our hearts belonged to a little girl in India first.

We flipped back and forth with our emotions for quite sometime. The next day we called the adoption agency in Oregon to tell them the news. Justin took the day off to talk to them. We were both incredibly nervous. They told us they'd have to check with officials in India and that they'd get back to us. We waited over a week to hear back. When we did, the news was tough to take. The director of the agency told us that the risk of not being approved in India was great. We were devistated to say the least. Thankfully, God timed the news perfectly. 20 minutes after getting the news I had a group of women from our church coming over for a Bible study. Of course, I was a mess--but thankfully they loved me through it. We spent a lot of time that night talking about it and praying to God for peace. It is amazing what prayer can do for giving a person a feeling of peace. I woke up the next morning feeling so much better. It was easier for me to hand it over to God and really trust that whatever he had for Henna and for us was His plan, long before we found out we were pregnant. Justin struggled a little longer, pleading with Lisa (the director) to try one more time to get a positive response. When we talked with her again--the answer was the same.

This is where we are now with our adoption process. We are still absolutely proceeding--but things are going to slow down a bit. We are looking at having our home study completed and approved by October and then just continuing our other paperwork after that. We absolutely still want to adopt Henna specifically, but understand that that might not be best for her. Our agency and we agreed that if she is still not matched with a family when we are "paper ready" we will be matched with her. But if there is another family willing to adopt her beforehand, she was meant to be a part of their family. Either way it is a win-win.

With the first few weeks being emotionally turbulent, Justin and I are absolutely at a place of pure excitement. We are so excited to see what God has for our family and where His plan will lead us. The day we found out we were pregnant Justin said we needed to celebrate--so, we headed to our favorite Olive Garden. The next day we walked to the library and checked out a million pregnancy and baby development books. The more we learned about what was happening inside me the more excited we became!

It really became real when we were 5wks. 5 days and we had our first ultra-sound. It was AMAZING! We weren't sure what to expect and the doctor told us not to count on seeing too much. Unbelievably, we were able to see the flutter of our baby's heartbeat! We were so happy and it was such an incredible moment for Justin and I. I think we fell in love with our baby that day. The miracle of life is just so real when you are able to see another little heartbeat of a person inside you.

We have been journaling about our pregnancy which has been good to share our feelings daily. Justin reads a pregnancy related book before going to bed and we pray with our hands on my belly every night. We pray for our tiny baby inside my belly and we pray for baby Henna--I think we always will. This is a special time for us.

We had our 2nd ultrasound at 8wks. 5days--getting more ultrasounds is a perk of being high-risk! It was amazing to see how differently the baby looked after 3 weeks--he or she looked like a baby! I know how parents feel when they say that the ultrasound picture of their baby is beautiful, because that's how we feel. I truly think the baby is beautiful already and am so excited to see him or her in just 19 days--we have another ultrasound :) I'll try to be better about updating our blog!